The Pig Stays In The Picture

Long story short:

When I was a kid, maybe about four or five years old, my family lived on a farm, what with my father being a farmer and all. On said farm, we had pigs*. My aunt, who was staying with us for awhile, saved my brother and myself from being trampled to death by pigs.

So there you go.

The "McGone was nearly trampled to death by pigs" story has been a surprising favorite among family members for years. I kind of have it lodged firmly in the "Repressed Memories" folder of my brain's hard drive, but you know, whatever.

So this year when my aunt taped small pigs to the wrapping paper of my and my brother and uncle's presents, I saw a giant light bulb go off over my head. It was time to cash in on my near-death experience.

Coming in 2008 is The IHoB's newest attempt at sucking at the teat of the merchandising Cash Cow**.

Introducing IHoG, a.k.a. Fernando von Bakonstein***

Yeah, I know... I've tried these sort of shenanigans before. But where McGuin failed, I'm pretty sure IHoG will succeed.

Already my Personable Pork Pal is taking the small bubble around me that I call "The World" by storm.

Because IHoG knows how to party.

Pictured to the left is your humble host McGone, after a few too many Southern Comforts and an indeterminate amount of beer posing with IHoG, uncle Tom (blurred out because he didn't sign the release waivers) and his own pig.


Later, IHoG took a moment to pose with McGone's cousin, back home for the holidays from his assignment with the Navy (blurred out because he didn't sign the release waivers. The beer is blurred out because it's Miller Lite).


The next night, IHoG met Pete. Pete was even nice enough to buy the mascot an Old Style.



Would you like to meet IHoG? Could you help him achieve my three-day-old dream of having him see the world? Let me know in the comments section or email me at the address in the sidebar. He loves to travel and all it costs is an envelope and a stamp.

Get in on this great deal now, because soon I will be charging too much for IHoG T-Shirts and lunchboxes.


*I honestly didn't write this line to sound like a song, but that song would be "Old McGone, he had a farm E-I-E-I-O"

**Also look for "Teats, The IHoB Cash Cow."

***Bakonstein, of course, because he doesn't eat meat.