Hogstage Crisis! Day 1
As if having my car stolen wasn't enough, it now appears that I have been pigjacked.
I'm going to turn my back, and when I turn around that pig better be back at his desk, swilling a martini and strumming on his Flying V guitar!
I'm going to turn my back, and when I turn around that pig better be back at his desk, swilling a martini and strumming on his Flying V guitar!
Labels: Hogstage Crisis, IHoG International Tour, The IHoBMobile's Wild Ride
posted by McGone at Tuesday, May 27, 2008
9 Comments:
He seems like such a nice pig. This usually turns out to be a case of trouble at home. Have you been treating Fernando well? Maybe he ran away--faked his death to drop off the grid. I don't think he had any enemies, right? Keep us appraised as developments progress.
This just brings to mind that you may have too much time on your hands. But, then it made me think that this highly entertaining post is as valuable as any ranting I might do which wouldn't take any less time, so... I hope your pig returns soon.
This Fernando is the best-traveled pig ever. I feel like I'm not fancy enough for him, like he's...a pearl...before...me.
Nevermind, I suck at aphorisms.
This is El Cerdo, leader of the glorious Pork Liberation Front.
We have your pig.
We have freed him from your imperialistic clutches.
He will be set free with a new life and new identity and taught the True Way.
Unless you pay us $1,000,000.
This will not be my last communication.
-El Cerdo
i might know something... but it'll cost you $999,999 which is a bargain considering...
I went to the "we have your pig" link and that's not Fernando. McGone, you don't even recognize your own pig. This imposter is made out of old red Play-Doh®, with markered in eyes and nostils. Do not negotiate!
Holy. Are those bacon mints some kind of threat?
The horror.
I've got a buck three-eighty I can contribute to the cause.
NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Not my sweet, porky little swine love-bug. It can't be true!
I shall go undercover, infiltrate their organization, immerse myself in their teachings, and then ultimately join this organization in their cause once I lose my mind and decide to really, really piss off my family.
Signing out-
Whiskeypatty VonHearst
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