Top 7 Things One Can Assume By Looking At a Picture of McGone, circa 1976

1. I lived in an Old-Timey Jailhouse, complete with wooden bars.
FALSE. All houses back then came with the inexplicable wooden bars that served no purpose, leading one to believe that...

2. I lived in the most 70s house ever.
INCONCLUSIVE. While my house did have wood paneling, shag carpeting and those clear plastic runners for the carpeting in the hallway, as well as an El Camino (complete with Bob Seger 8-tracks) in the driveway, it would be hard to determine that it was in fact The Most 70s House Ever.

3. I had a tragic bowl haircut.
TRUE. And "Little boy with bowl haircut"* meets the criteria for "Most 70s House Ever."

4. I was Superman.
FALSE. Superman did not wear a mask. And my parents were from the area known as "Illinois Valley" and not the doomed planet Krypton.

5. My brother had the absolute worst Halloween costume ever.
TRUE. My God, look at it. That's supposed to be Frankenstein, but with those checkers on the plastic bib that all 70s costumes came with, it looks like he should be serving food at Steak n' Shake.

6. My brother was a pioneer and wore his crappy 70s coat underneath his crappy 70s costume.
TRUE. Most kids complained the next day about how awesome their costumes could have been if only their mothers didn't insist they put their coats on before they headed out, but my brother planned ahead.

7. I am competing in the The Big Wicked Online Pageant.
FALSE. I didn't even know it was going on until too late and this was already in the pipeline. But I think it's a swell idea. Kudos to all the participants for sharing their childhood shame - that just makes for good blogging!


*Actually "TWO little boys with bowl haircuts" as my brother and I looked identical back then.

Previous Assumptions One Could Make By Looking At A Picture of McGone:
The 1986 edition
The 1977 edition